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Nylon Songs

by Naaki Soul

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1.
You put my heart back in my chest Real life is the very best And I love it when I'm me When I'm me I love me When I love me I love you Put my heart back in my chest Real life is the very best And I love it when I'm me When I'm me I love me When I love me I love you Put my heart back in my chest Real life is the very best And I love it when I'm me When I'm me I love me When I love me I love you Put my heart back in my chest Real life is the very best And I love it when I'm me When I'm me I love me When I love me I love you
2.
Valley Song 02:49
Wash your hands with water Bruise your hands with ice Lime juice in your micro-cuts But it pays to be nice Salt water gargle You've been shouting again Wake up as the sun sets And sing through the phlegm With a fake name and enough conviction You can reinvent yourself to strangers at Ric's I poured my heart out to them And it hurt so much less To be Rina seeking thrills through extreme sports Than Anika with complex post traumatic stress disorder 'Tis the life to be hollow and numb A hole in your wallet and smoke in your lungs Earning too little spending too much Buying flowers when you can't afford the bus When I dance I can't feel my legs Our cohort's the coffee, we are the dregs Working too much not sleeping enough The sun might rise with some luck But really it's something so divine You me and this piss they call wine And for now I have everything, all I need They're rare, they're special, your kisses are free This economy of love, we've got monopoly I'll buy you food and next time you've got me And for now I have everything, all I need They're rare, they're special, they're just for me This economy of love, we've got monopoly I'll buy you baccy if you roll one for me Let's get the fuck out of here My head, the car, the valley Out of here To your bed, the heater on, it never works It brings us closer
3.
Kneeling at your feet in the middle of a crowd And out I cried, "I'll never be like you!" But even the act within itself Frail girl buries her yellow face in the lap of strong man Is thinly-veiled irony too I know you really try Once I sleep it off it'll be fine Is it heavy to carry my colour around with you? Yellow like sunflowers, river basin fertile soil But a cadmium kiss, stained hands To wrongly sieve those flakes of gold away White man's land, I'm a runny broken yolk I run until the cursing stops Blue and white, fine china On your mother's shelf Arrested by poppyseed eyes For display and never dined with We will never be the same, you and I So I wear your clothes all the time So I wear your clothes all the time So I wear your clothes all the time So I wear your clothes all the time I wear your clothes all the time I wear your clothes all the time
4.
Your fingers in my rhinestone mouth I want to kiss your rings But I want it to mean something Pull my hair like you mean to tear it out Your pretty name I shout Comb it softly when you're done Leave a trail of embers up the jugulars Pash like a puncture where the blood flows most When I talk to you I want to be heard Love is a doing word You do it really well Touch me With enthusiastic consent Care for me Nobody ever did Bruise my knees, on the ground for far too long All the glands on my skin, they're crying out a song Crystal tears fall on your feet I wash them bathed in heat A promise wrapped in sheets When you go to feel me I want to be felt All our discretions melt In the moment in the morning Love me It doesn't hurt anymore Within reach Fuck me in less words I wish you were my first time And I saw "boy" to be pure Two fawns draped in white leaves We have never known violence We have never known violence
5.
As I tow my mauled body Through the playground My little nuclear fallout Will rain on your sleeves If we are all potential carcasses What do we do with all of This time! Running out! Out of time! Out of time! Make an impression that counts Forget to paint your face and just Get out Of your mind! Of your mind! Of your mind We are not made in God's image If so then I should look to you Your teeth aren't straight All lies are pathological To an extent Tell me how I should be Read the manual to me I am not a girl My rocky horror romance (I'm a human being) We shall burn at the stake In colour TV Not gazing at you, gazing through you Gazing through you Gazing through you No private parts, no sexual dimorphism (Gazing through you) Just two orbs on the world wide web What are you performing day by day What's your silhouette straight-legged Circle skirt does it matter? Does it really matter? (Gazing through you) How would you like to be addressed? What's the meaning of sir versus madam? A for affect feeling more than human (Gazing through you) Sometimes less than human I'd do anything to be content with the outer shell B for behaviour tearing up my scabs (Gazing through you) A nervous queer tremor Arching my back and tensing to maintain the form C for cognition thinking 'bout (Gazing through you) Changing something and not knowing how D for dying always dying (Gazing through you) I'm looking for a way out
6.
He sees a halo on my head He paints a picture of my face He loves me and it's real And I know but I don't feel Soft toys burning in his chair Chased by a three-legged dog Suddenly all the edges too sharp I closed my eyes and the poor thing was still there What is pain but a symptom of love The cause has left me here What's the difference between A general fear of losing him And delusions of psychosis Curled up on his couch I sit here reading into A collapsed jenga pile Everything is black and white And there is no inbetween Walking on sunshine or slitting my wrists Kissing me or conspiring to kill me Dreams of a sepia house Everything settled at heart A pool of blood is an oil spill And coffee is red wine I bought him sunflowers I turn around and he is you You are here I bought you sunflowers Counting faces on your ceiling Sweating candy breathing grass I'm floating out your window But you anchor me to earth You put my heart back in my chest Real life is the very best And I love it when I'm me When I'm me I love me When I love me I love you You put my heart back in my chest Real life is the very best And I love it when I'm me When I'm me I love me When I love me I love you You put my heart back in my chest Real life is the very best And I love it when I'm me When I'm me I love me When I love me I love you You put my heart back in my chest Real life is the very best And I love it when I'm me When I'm me I love me When I love me I love you
7.
I'm so so tired (want to sleep) I won't sleep (don't want to dream) My whole life in arrears Just a kid with adult fears Need a lift need a loan Need to go home, define home Away from the weary faces of my peers Down fall their crocodile tears And it's no solace at the end of the day I hang my keys by my bed And all the debt to you I could never repay You might owe me money But I owe you your time And I don't want to be your burden You've still got an unspoiled life I'm alone without you I'm alone when I'm with you I'm alone when I'm in bed I'm alone when I'm with friends I'm alone in the Valley I'm alone in alleyways I'm alone with night terrors I'm alone everyday At a party talking about psychiatry Someone says "BPD's tricky cause it's just the way you think" So does that mean there's nothing wrong with me And there's nothing to medicate I'm not a good person That's just who I am College made me stay up all night To stop hearing people talk about me To stay in numbing reverie Sums of the actions taken against us Bumping into other complex bodies I'm scared to bump into you It'll take a toll to love me It'll take a toll to love me It'll take a toll to love me It'll take a toll to love me
8.
I'm scared you'll pluck all the meat off my bony heart But I still bare it open wide So I'll see you soon And maybe I won't But I say it cause I hope I do Once I cough up how I feel We'll share a cigarette In heaven or in bed Better with you than alone The sun touches everything and leaves its Radiant traces everywhere you go You're somehow here when you're not around If I stare too long I might go blind so I just close my eyes and smile We will bloom just as we will shrivel I won't let my mind waste away we are able and twenty There is warm blood coursing through my veins Between my fingers you're on fire I keep dragging from you Between these lines I write and scrap These words, I lose them with you All art made of you Only ever synecdoches Every verse a pastiche Every stroke an homage to the real thing When I first saw you I knew Hey sweet tooth gap smoking hot Chewing gum making movies When I kiss you I know (Art can't imitate life, can't imitate you, can't imitate us, the real thing) I know (Art can't imitate life, can't imitate you, but it can try, the real thing) I know (Art can't imitate life, can't imitate you, can't imitate us, the real thing) I know (Art can't imitate life, can't imitate you, but it can try, but it can try)
9.
The atom bomb can bury our city before you can count to one A bleeding sky unfolds as our legacies are undone For now we sit in someone's yard punching darts and kissing each other And that may be all we need to pull us through our troubles I hope our shadows grow long together And my hair grows long with you And we remember the meanings we ascribed To songs and poems and books from years ago It may be we become forgotten when we're old Gathering dust and expiring in the sun The days are numbered and they're going fast And one fine day it will be your last So jump, if not fall And live with the possibility of abandonment and ruin Live with no closure, live with split ends no amends Live with imperfection, live with people you can't stand Live with the idea of dying alone It might be alright We deserve the world Beach days, hot sex, MDMA Natural disasters, arm in a plaster, can this year go faster Hope I see my mum soon Her ashes on the moon No gaps in my fingers to fall through Jusqu'ici, tout va bien You can't keep me from harm Snowing in Brisbane tonight I made a cradle of your arms Preserved beneath a shaken dome A memory to call home And without you I'm still me But with you I am more Preserved beneath a shaken dome A memory to call home And without you I'm still me But with you I am more Preserved beneath a shaken dome A memory to call home And without you I'm still me But with you I am more

about

This record was written and conceived on stolen Turrbal and Jagera land, sovereignity was never ceded.

credits

released April 21, 2023

recorded at Underground Audio by Christopher Brownbill

mastered by Carl Saff

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Naaki Soul Brisbane, Australia

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